Sep 30, 20202 min read

Day Dreaming

SPLIT CROATIA

My favorite way to pass the time is to contemplate.

I just ordered a large latte. I am in Europe, so I do not expect an American size large, though I did not expect what I actually received: a Dixie Cup with a Tablespoon of Espresso, a thimble of milk, and a 1/4 cup of foam. (Slight exaggeration, however, I do like to tell a story imaginatively.)

This was my starting point for contemplating: Why am I complaining? Really, why would I complain about what they consider large?

To keep me from being disappointed with my Barbie-sized beverage, and to be grateful that I can sit here at all, I told myself when I entered into this cafe and ordered my drink, I entered into a social contract: ”I am willing to accept what you give me because that is what you offer and I am grateful.”

Complaining removes all joy from a situation. Even grumblings take away from my moments in life. I reflected once when I had gone to great efforts to do something for someone, and they were not rude, just unappreciative. My internal response was not to be very fond of that person. I reflected on all the times I had a little something to add that I thought would have made the experience better. I felt great disappointment in myself. The Hebrews spent 40 years in the desert for their complaints. Please, God forgive me.

God then placed on my heart how complaining even interiorly took away beauty away from me. It is as if he has so much to show me and I am unable to accept his grace. What grace did I miss while inviting negative thoughts into my heart?

This life is a pilgrimage, I am given the opportunity to live forever, and that my true end is meant to be a vision in which I will see God “face to face” (1 Cor 13:12). While I do not always remember to be humble, I will endeavor to try.

Whoever responds before he listens, demonstrates himself to be foolish and deserving of confusion. Proverbs 18 :13

God granted me some peace from my guilt as he led me on a circuitous route of entertainment to, “What would the museum of Kimberli look like?”

I thought about what would be in the permanent exhibitions? I laughed a little thinking about the temporary exhibitions, or the “Hall of Bad Decisions & Poor Choices.”

In the catacombs would be furnaces where the sins said in confession became ashes.

I finished asking God to place at the center a perpetual adoration chapel that upon entering my only thought would be is to lie prostrate before the fiery love of God.